Thursday, 13 October 2011


The passing of 10 o'clock on Sunday night (in my time zone) signified the ending of my week dedicated to Rue Nightlocke, loyal friend, fan of Frank Iero and Mikey Way, as well as comrade in the MCRMY. (pronounced MC-army) You will forever remain in my mind and heart, and I have come up with a list of songs I wish to dedicate, but never had the time to:

1) Summertime
2) The kids from Yesterday
3) Cemetary Drive
4) I don't love you
5) Bulletproof heart
6) Welcome to the Black Parade
7) We Don't need another song about California

I'm really sorry I couldn't post till now, because of examinations.

This post also marks my dark journey into depression. I am now a cutter/slasher. Whatever. There is a brutally beautiful poetry in self-mutilation that I am sincerely in love with. The pain I feel whilst slashing... the blood... it quells the pain I feel inside. My emotional pain makes it feel like I have strings around my heart that tighten... oh so slowly... and it pains me. My physical pain puts an end to that pain... but then it starts again. And my hurt has to end, right? That's why I cut. It's elevated... it transcends to another place. People who don't do it wouldn't understand.

This is also probably the longest post. I have read Death Bringer, and I'd just like to say this:




I love the fight scene between Darquesse and Lord Vile. I love it. The blood and gore... and I'm sad that Caelan died. Oh wells. Fletcher grew a lot. It was heart twisting.

Spoilers over.

I also now have a crush on Gerard Way. Sorry Lin-z, but it looks like there's another girl out here about to steal your husband. I HAVE HIS FACEBOOK! YAYZ!

Ahem. It is over. Everything is over. Except my journey into depression. I'm always rushing into trouble... and coming out the other end. It's about time that changed.


  1. I don't know how I can help. I don't even want to say that I am qualified to interfere with your life. But what I can tell you is, when all hope is lost, there will always be somebody for you. Be it a friend, a family member, or in your case, Gerard Way, there is always somebody out there that is worth living for. And if that person knew the pain you are putting yourself through, they feel it too, no matter how small it is. While, like me, they might be equally helpless as I am, sitting behind a screen, when you cut, the blood that flows out, it isn't just yours. It's theirs too. Any small care and concern you have, you're letting it go mate. If you feel it's worth giving up these people you love, then go ahead. I'm not stopping you. It's your life and I have zilch right to do anything about it. We all find freedom in different ways. If that's how you want to go pursue it, like I said before, it's your life, your decision. But I'll let you know, no matter how much I may be just a random online stranger to you, it pains, depresses and makes me sad when I see that your liberation is at a cost of blood. Heaven will find a way for you mate. The future may not be optimistic for you, but don't give up just yet. Think how you have made it this far. The people all around you. Whether they have been nice to you or bad to you, they have made you YOU. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Then by right, you'd be darned strong person by now. Think about the people around you. They are around you for a reason and it's love. If they didn't even care for you, they wouldn't bother restricting you in a way they think is protecting you. Whether or not it is correct I shan't comment. That's up to you. However, I know that if you are collapsing before you finish the route march of life, I'm going to pick up your rifle, your pack, and help you get through it. Whether or not you see the intent to help is really how you see it. The bottom line is, I am here for you mate, and I'm going to put in the effort to either decend with your to depression, or drag you out of it. You go, I go mate. The last words I'll leave you with are: Your friends are ALWAYS with you, whether you know it or not.

  2. You know, sonmetimes I laugh. I laugh at all of you for being so fucking futile. I got so bored even before halfway through your comment. It's so fucking long, you gotta be some fucking philosopher. Well, it's been nice knowing you.

  3. I've always been there for you. Whether you know it or not. Heaven knows I tried. Perhaps I felt that I had to intervene, knowing that perhaps that there was a little hope. But like I've said. It's your life. Me staying so long, it ain't out of pure boredom. It's out of genuine concern. Beg your pardon, for a friend who stayed by your side and offended you in the attempt.