Sunday, 30 October 2011


I'm not going to be a debbie downer here.

Well, maybe a bit.

See, lots of people don't understand that the music I listen to is romantically brutal. Take MCR, for example. After Hannah Bond (tragic, really) killed herself, they go ahead and somehow link her death to MCR. Why? Because two weeks before she fucking hung herself, she started listening to MCR. I have been listening to MCR for what, 4 years, and am I dead yet? No, I'm not.

It is stated rather clearly in the article that she was angry at her parents for not letting her sleep-over at her boyfriend's house. She had stormed into her parent's room (or out of..... can't really remember) saying "I will kill myself." Of course, her parents assumed she wouldn't, but when they found her limp and lifeless body later, they fucking blamed it on MCR.

Now the Daily Mail took this all into account, and, being the biased little bastards they are, assumed that MCR is a fucking PRO-SUICIDAL CULT. Can you believe that? A fucking cult. They called us a fucking cult. I'm not part of a cult. I don't have the inverted pentagram tattooed somewhere. I don't visit fucking stinky alleys to hold fucking meetings. We are not a cult. We are an army.

Have you ever heard more encouraging speeches? Of course the Daily Mail doesn't want to take this into account. Biased fuck-tards.

I don't care if I'm going to go to jail for this.

This isn't a stand alone case. The rhythm guitarist of MCR, Frank Anthony Iero Jr, plays in Leathermouth, another band. I haven't listened to their music yet, but I've seen videos of Frankie signing things for MCR fans, and he's one of the sweetest guy I've ever seen. Yeah, he looks tough, he's got tattoos all over the place, piercings, whatever. I could have pink hair and a piercing on my, I don't know, face? That doesn't fucking change who I fucking am. And it just so happens that 5th Period Massacre is one of Leathermouth's songs. Some people listen to the lyrics and deem Frankie as a lunatic. A fucking lunatic. Yes, you heard me right, a lunatic.

For God's sake, people, listen up! This world is varied. There will be majorities and minorities. But that doesn't fucking mean that the Majorities can fucking discriminate the minorities just because the minorities are fucking different! I'm a Chinese, and I go on international websites. I have been discriminated against because I am Asian. Does that fucking make sense to any of you? Does it?

Same thing goes for pop bands and rock bands. Initially emo was just a fucking label. Now it's clothing. What on fucking earth is wrong with the world today? Can't you accept people for who they are? MCR is the most fun-loving band I've ever known. The sweetest. The most inspirational. So unlike others like (I'm so sorry if I piss anyone off) Katy Perry. Or Justin Bieber. MCR has been upfront about most, including sensitive subjects like discrimination or even prison rape. Things can go horribly wrong, and unfortunately many people have taken their meanings wrongly. If you would kindly go to this link: (it's on this blog, don't worry) and read the quotes, you'll find that they are very inspirational.

MCR has saved my life so many times. I don't know what could have possessed me to try and cut my chest open or chop my hand off (and I really don't want to know) in the middle of the night. I'd wake up, don't know where I'm going, and suddenly two lines of MCR lyrics or a quote will pop into my head and I'd fully wake up and I'd be like woah, I have a knife. Girl, take control of yourself.

That's the way I feel. I don't know about you, but my rant's over. My journey isn't, though, and I will keep protesting against the people who wrong me.

I'm not fighting any bullshit fucking war. I'm only not taking the shit that people throw in my face for me being myself.

BB, Killjoy at Battery City, Zone 6, out.


and sing it for the world <3

Dearest Frankie,

Happy 30th birthday! You're so lucky to be born on Halloween..... even though my parents don't like it. You must have been a horror as a baby.


BB, Battery City, Zone 6.

All images were self generated at

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Gerard Way's quotes

"They wrote an article, calling people who listen to our music or fans of us, A CULT! They called us a fucking cult! Do you believe how fucking ignorant that is? And that we promote self-harm and suicide in our lyrics. Do you fucking belive that? We're gonna tell the Daily Mail that we are not a fucking cult, we are an army, and that nothing is worth hurting yourself over. Nothing is worth taking your life over. Do you understand? I wanna hear you say 'FUCK THE DAILY MAIL!'"

"Alright motherfuckers, the world is gonna try and clean you up, what you gonna do about it? [crowd screams] I said the world is gonna try to clean you up, what you gonna do about it? [crowd screams again] They're gonna try to make you pretty, what the fuck you gonna do about it? [crowd screams] You're gonna say, I wanna stay ugly. AND YOU'RE GONNA SING ABOUT IT!"

"We're talking about something else on this tour, because some of you are in school, some of you are in college, some of you are in the work force. You get depressed, you get really desperate, you get really hurt, you feel like an outsider, and one of the only places you feel like you can fit in is right here at this show. But we're all a bunch of weirdos up here too, and sometimes we feel like we don't fit in. But no matter how desperate you get, no matter how sad, how depressed, you never, ever use violence as a solution. Do you understand? And suicide, things of that nature, we've always told you, that if things feel so desperate, and you're so hurt, you're so depressed, you find some... person that you trust to talk to. That's something we've always said, but what we're gonna say to you tonight, is if you find yourself depressed, hurt, like an outcast, like the only kind of place you could fit in is at a show like this, that's not the case. Because even though we're all outcasts in our own way, we all do belong in this world, we all fit in this world, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, BUT YOU NEVER, EVER SAY IT WITH VIOLENCE DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

"The world can be a really ugly place, right? It's not always really pretty it gets ugly, peoples' feelings get hurt. Sometimes it's terrible, but it's also a really beautiful place, and we all share it together. If you ever feel depressed or hurt in any way or you find yourself feeling very desperate, you find somebody that you trust, that you can talk to, be it a teacher, a parent, a best friend, a therapist at school, there's lots of free programmes you guys can find people to talk to. But the main thing is: no matter what, no matter what happens to you, no matter how desperate you feel, you never resort to violence."

"You're gonna go on and do different things, jobs, schools, all kinds of stuff like that, and, uh, sometimes you get frustrated. It's a frustrating world. Sometimes you get depressed, things are depressing. Sometimes you get desperate, but there's lots of people you can talk to. You can find a teacher, best friend, parent, therapist, anybody. Guy working at Dunkin' Donuts, I really don't care, but the one thing you guys never, ever, do and I'm sure you all know this, but I'll say it anyway. You never resort to violence."


"There's been a lot of bad things written about us and you guys in some tabloids, and I've been bringing this up every night on tour because it's very important that you guys understand that we're all not some kind of death cult, okay? You guys sure don't look like cult members to me. You don't seem violent at all, you seem extremely smart, and the only thing we've ever encouraged you to do, WAS TO BE YOURSELF! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, AND DON'T TAKE ANYBODY'S FUCKING SHIT!"

"The difference we wanna make is number one, to let these kinds know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want. They can express themselves however they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing, and you know, and really just to get people to get over their stuff so they can live. Like, living's very important, that it's more important to keep yourself alive, there's nothing worth even hurting yourself over. I mean, I'm a person that goes through alot of depression, and stress, and things like that. I'm generally happier these days, but I have, it's normal, it's completely normal to be depressed, so, um, I think it's good to have a support group, it's good to have people you can call, it's good to talk to your folks. I think it's just important that you keep yourself alive, that you just stay fighting, because actually it isn't that bad. I mean, we started this band thinking the world was extremely ugly and now I think now we realise that it's more beautiful than we thought, and I think our music is now reflective of that. So, if anything, you can take it from a guy and his band who used to think everything was shit, and we've found that it's not."

"I'm here to tell you guys today, that you guys are not, we're not fighting any bullshit fucking war do you understand? Never in a million years, but that doesn't mean you should take anybody's shit for being who you are."

"If you, or somebody you know, is severely depressed, you need to find somebody to talk to, or you need to talk to them. Because throwing your fucking life away on suicide is fucking bullshit! Let me hear you say 'BULLSHIT'! [Bullshit!]"

"If you, or someone you know are severly depressed, you need to fucking talk to somebody. Your best friend, your mom, somebody in school, I don't give a fuck, because pissing away your life on suicide is fucking bullshit!"

"Love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, even things you might be ashamed of. Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone but still getting weak knees when they walk into the room and smile at you."

"Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary."

"So many people treat you like a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the hotel window."

'Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive."

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands and a lot of shitty people. And if any of those people call you names because of what you look like or because they don't accept you for who you are, I want you to look right at that motherfucker, stick up your middle finger, and scream, 'FUCK YOU!'"

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Thursday, 13 October 2011


The passing of 10 o'clock on Sunday night (in my time zone) signified the ending of my week dedicated to Rue Nightlocke, loyal friend, fan of Frank Iero and Mikey Way, as well as comrade in the MCRMY. (pronounced MC-army) You will forever remain in my mind and heart, and I have come up with a list of songs I wish to dedicate, but never had the time to:

1) Summertime
2) The kids from Yesterday
3) Cemetary Drive
4) I don't love you
5) Bulletproof heart
6) Welcome to the Black Parade
7) We Don't need another song about California

I'm really sorry I couldn't post till now, because of examinations.

This post also marks my dark journey into depression. I am now a cutter/slasher. Whatever. There is a brutally beautiful poetry in self-mutilation that I am sincerely in love with. The pain I feel whilst slashing... the blood... it quells the pain I feel inside. My emotional pain makes it feel like I have strings around my heart that tighten... oh so slowly... and it pains me. My physical pain puts an end to that pain... but then it starts again. And my hurt has to end, right? That's why I cut. It's elevated... it transcends to another place. People who don't do it wouldn't understand.

This is also probably the longest post. I have read Death Bringer, and I'd just like to say this:




I love the fight scene between Darquesse and Lord Vile. I love it. The blood and gore... and I'm sad that Caelan died. Oh wells. Fletcher grew a lot. It was heart twisting.

Spoilers over.

I also now have a crush on Gerard Way. Sorry Lin-z, but it looks like there's another girl out here about to steal your husband. I HAVE HIS FACEBOOK! YAYZ!

Ahem. It is over. Everything is over. Except my journey into depression. I'm always rushing into trouble... and coming out the other end. It's about time that changed.