For one thing, people shouldn't restrict me. Reality is always saying, "Follow your dreams" and I did.
Guess what I got for all that. Yes, not only were my dreams crushed, I was abandoned when I needed it most. Beaten, tormented, defeated. Daily. I don't know why I put up with this shit anymore. It's not like I did anything wrong. It's not like I wanted to lie. They forced me to. Because THEY want to hear the model answers. THEY want my life to be crushed. They oppress me, they kill me, they hang me from the roof and celebrate my death.
And all I wanted to do was write. All I wanted to do was to compose poetry. All I wanted, was the germ of a dream that I can become what I want. And do what I want. God, I'm going to take things into my own hands from now on.
Friday, 9 September 2011
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
OH MY GAWD
I can't believe it. I read a spoiler. WHEN I SAID I WOULD BE CLEAN ;-; why? WHY MUST THE WORLD DO THIS TO ME????!!!!!!!
*crumples to floor*
*crumples to floor*
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Collation of blogs
Hi guys! If you can join in my movement, please repost the post below on your blog, or you can write your own message under the same theme. Just post your links in the comments section below.
Dear Iris' parents....
Hello! This is Blood Butterflies here, also known by my given name, Tessa. I'm writing this letter because I don't think it's fair to take Iris away from all her friends. I have changed the glum situation for my other friend, Kallista, and I will change it for Iris.
I feel that Iris' situation is a lot less trivial than a mere banning from the internet. I feel that as parents, yes, you want what's best for your child, and yes, you want her to grow up the right way, but I have been there. I have seen for my own eyes, how the adverse effects look like. And trust me, it isn't pretty.
Don't cut off the things that Iris clings to. She needs the love and support. I will always, always be there for your daughter. I will always support her in whatever she does. And if she makes a mistake, in my moral judgement, I will do my best to correct it. This is surely the kind of daughter that you want. I'm telling you, sending her away from the things she loves, yes, it will make her mature, but she will pass into maturity painfully. Maturity is something that is integrated. It takes time to process it. And it takes people who love her and know her to groom her. To mature her. This is what I believe in and this is what I want for Iris.
I understand that you have monetary problems in Dubai. Don't blame your daughter for telling me. I forced it out of her. I understand that the Indian economy will help you to assume a higher economic status. But please, as I have understood you, please understand us. All of us. All of us on the blog. We want Iris to stay. We want Iris to be with us. Without her presence, the blog will just not be the same. We treasure each and everyone of our friends. The blog is never the same without any of us missing. No matter how long you have been on the blog, we will treasure each and everyone of us like anybody would treasure the precious seconds of their life.
I also know things that you don't think I know. I know about what happened at your marriage. I know her reluctance to go to India. I understand each and every aspect of this and I've taken my own perspective to all this. Please, let her stay. Or at least, please, don't make her go to a hostel. Not that I'm demoting hostels or anything, but I have heard that this hostel is very strict, and that there are only two days off in a year. Even if you make her go to the hostel, please, please, please let her come home during those two days. Let her have her connections with the outside world. She needs this connection to actually be successful in life. Although grades mean alot in this current world, connections matter as much. I'm sure that there are many other good schools in India that give her an all rounded education. I am sure that if you make the right decision, your daughter will grow up to be the perfect one ANY parent would want.
I hope that you take the things I have said to mind. I hope that you will change her situation. I made a promise, and I am never one to break a promise. I vowed that I will change her situation, or else die in debt. I am her supporter. Only you can change her situation. We all beg that you do.
Thank you, and yours sincerely,
Blood Butterflies
I feel that Iris' situation is a lot less trivial than a mere banning from the internet. I feel that as parents, yes, you want what's best for your child, and yes, you want her to grow up the right way, but I have been there. I have seen for my own eyes, how the adverse effects look like. And trust me, it isn't pretty.
Don't cut off the things that Iris clings to. She needs the love and support. I will always, always be there for your daughter. I will always support her in whatever she does. And if she makes a mistake, in my moral judgement, I will do my best to correct it. This is surely the kind of daughter that you want. I'm telling you, sending her away from the things she loves, yes, it will make her mature, but she will pass into maturity painfully. Maturity is something that is integrated. It takes time to process it. And it takes people who love her and know her to groom her. To mature her. This is what I believe in and this is what I want for Iris.
I understand that you have monetary problems in Dubai. Don't blame your daughter for telling me. I forced it out of her. I understand that the Indian economy will help you to assume a higher economic status. But please, as I have understood you, please understand us. All of us. All of us on the blog. We want Iris to stay. We want Iris to be with us. Without her presence, the blog will just not be the same. We treasure each and everyone of our friends. The blog is never the same without any of us missing. No matter how long you have been on the blog, we will treasure each and everyone of us like anybody would treasure the precious seconds of their life.
I also know things that you don't think I know. I know about what happened at your marriage. I know her reluctance to go to India. I understand each and every aspect of this and I've taken my own perspective to all this. Please, let her stay. Or at least, please, don't make her go to a hostel. Not that I'm demoting hostels or anything, but I have heard that this hostel is very strict, and that there are only two days off in a year. Even if you make her go to the hostel, please, please, please let her come home during those two days. Let her have her connections with the outside world. She needs this connection to actually be successful in life. Although grades mean alot in this current world, connections matter as much. I'm sure that there are many other good schools in India that give her an all rounded education. I am sure that if you make the right decision, your daughter will grow up to be the perfect one ANY parent would want.
I hope that you take the things I have said to mind. I hope that you will change her situation. I made a promise, and I am never one to break a promise. I vowed that I will change her situation, or else die in debt. I am her supporter. Only you can change her situation. We all beg that you do.
Thank you, and yours sincerely,
Blood Butterflies
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
SCARLET SCARLET SCARLET
SCARLET! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!
SCARLET! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*glomps*
SCARLET! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*glomps*
Sunday, 21 August 2011
I am so sorry guys.
MY STUPID PARENTS. I KNOW I SHOULDN'T GO ON A RANT ABOUT THIS BUT STILL. ARGH. I SO HATE THEM SOMETIMES.
*calms down*
I'm not sure how long this luxury will last, but as long as it does, I'm happy. My father banned me from posting new posts until I told him I had things to do for school, which is true. So I'm enjoying this while it lasts.
Oh, and just to mention, he blocked my facebook too.
I hate him.
On a brighter note, DEREK SAID HI TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I HOPE HE'S ONLINE. OH GOD, OH GOD.
That's all for now.
*calms down*
I'm not sure how long this luxury will last, but as long as it does, I'm happy. My father banned me from posting new posts until I told him I had things to do for school, which is true. So I'm enjoying this while it lasts.
Oh, and just to mention, he blocked my facebook too.
I hate him.
On a brighter note, DEREK SAID HI TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I HOPE HE'S ONLINE. OH GOD, OH GOD.
That's all for now.
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
LALALALALA
Okay this is gonna be a real weird post.
Firstly, I want to solve this problem of wanting to tell you guys this dream of mine, which is really, very weird.
Okay, last night I dreamt what every fan of the triple G would dream of: that he came to my house just to sign my books. I'm not sure if this is really probable, but heck, my younger brother and I were talking about it all day. So yeap, he came to my house, and I think the dream went something like this:
I was awakened presumably in the morning by my younger brother, "Jie! (this means big sister is chinese) Jie! Derek's downstairs right now!"
Obviously this kind of news is like WOAH, so I sat up and said, "Really?"
My parents' laughter drifted up from downstairs. "You're an interesting author, Mr Landy," I heard my dad say. As if he would say that, really.
"I got the inkling about, what, 6 years ago? I didn't know what it would mean," A deep voice with an Irish accent answered.
"OH MY GOD." I was saying.
"Why don't you go sight-seeing first? I don't think my daughter is going to get up soon."
I could smell wine, which was weird. "I don't think I would. I'm here because your daughter posts on my blog. Your son, too. I would really like to meet them. I've read your son's spin-off from mine, and I've read your daughter's poems. They are, to say the least, very original."
I couldn't move, but in the next instant I had showered and changed into my jeans. I practically flew down the stairs, which, in retrospect, is really dangerous, but heck, when the triple G comes to your house, you wouldn't care, right? So I flew down the stairs and I glomped him.
*is clearly embarrassed*
I'm not sure why I did that, but I think I was just so excited. Nevermind. Back to the dream.
I didn't know how he got my address, since I never divulge that info to anyone, but still. I think at that point I woke up, and I could remember the dream, but you don't want that kind of thing to run away. So I fell asleep again. I think after that he signed our books and things and gave us SP merchandise for free (WOW) and I asked him for his handphone number and email.
Oh god. I must have been delirious.
At that point my brain decided to be really mean to me, so it sent me to get a piece of paper and when I came back, I saw a car that wasn't there before drive away. I assumed it was Derek because my mom said it was,(typical) and I ran after it.
Oh god. I'm really crazy.
In any case I lost track of the car and my dad woke me up just then. I swear to God, my dreams never have happy endings.
*is quiet for a while*
I've been coming up with more poems and OCs and excerpts of their lives, and Yesh! I have finished Blood Butterflies OC version 2.0. I will post it on Bio-Rama (http://www.thespotforbios.blogspot.com/) after I post this.
I'm really hoping that Derek comes to Singapore, because honestly it would be the chance of a lifetime to meet him in person. Oh gosh, we're just a little red dot. And as far as I know, there will be 5 fans in Singapore by September end, three of which live in the damned same house.
Hell yeah.
Firstly, I want to solve this problem of wanting to tell you guys this dream of mine, which is really, very weird.
Okay, last night I dreamt what every fan of the triple G would dream of: that he came to my house just to sign my books. I'm not sure if this is really probable, but heck, my younger brother and I were talking about it all day. So yeap, he came to my house, and I think the dream went something like this:
I was awakened presumably in the morning by my younger brother, "Jie! (this means big sister is chinese) Jie! Derek's downstairs right now!"
Obviously this kind of news is like WOAH, so I sat up and said, "Really?"
My parents' laughter drifted up from downstairs. "You're an interesting author, Mr Landy," I heard my dad say. As if he would say that, really.
"I got the inkling about, what, 6 years ago? I didn't know what it would mean," A deep voice with an Irish accent answered.
"OH MY GOD." I was saying.
"Why don't you go sight-seeing first? I don't think my daughter is going to get up soon."
I could smell wine, which was weird. "I don't think I would. I'm here because your daughter posts on my blog. Your son, too. I would really like to meet them. I've read your son's spin-off from mine, and I've read your daughter's poems. They are, to say the least, very original."
I couldn't move, but in the next instant I had showered and changed into my jeans. I practically flew down the stairs, which, in retrospect, is really dangerous, but heck, when the triple G comes to your house, you wouldn't care, right? So I flew down the stairs and I glomped him.
*is clearly embarrassed*
I'm not sure why I did that, but I think I was just so excited. Nevermind. Back to the dream.
I didn't know how he got my address, since I never divulge that info to anyone, but still. I think at that point I woke up, and I could remember the dream, but you don't want that kind of thing to run away. So I fell asleep again. I think after that he signed our books and things and gave us SP merchandise for free (WOW) and I asked him for his handphone number and email.
Oh god. I must have been delirious.
At that point my brain decided to be really mean to me, so it sent me to get a piece of paper and when I came back, I saw a car that wasn't there before drive away. I assumed it was Derek because my mom said it was,(typical) and I ran after it.
Oh god. I'm really crazy.
In any case I lost track of the car and my dad woke me up just then. I swear to God, my dreams never have happy endings.
*is quiet for a while*
I've been coming up with more poems and OCs and excerpts of their lives, and Yesh! I have finished Blood Butterflies OC version 2.0. I will post it on Bio-Rama (http://www.thespotforbios.blogspot.com/) after I post this.
I'm really hoping that Derek comes to Singapore, because honestly it would be the chance of a lifetime to meet him in person. Oh gosh, we're just a little red dot. And as far as I know, there will be 5 fans in Singapore by September end, three of which live in the damned same house.
Hell yeah.
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